The Chemist

He fucked her like a scientist, playing around with different elements of her. It satisfied him watching her burn and melt at his touch until she couldn’t stand it anymore. His end goal was to make her explode...

Reformulated

“Come here darling,” he whispered, “spread open that beautiful mind of yours and let me finger your most intimate thoughts...”

Concealment

Just like dawn, she had a way of hiding her dark side with a shining one. 

Independent

We are no victims. The monsters who end up in our sheets are pulled up from under the bed by our own doing. 

Supplement

She loved everything about him. The heaven in his eyes and the devil in his hands. He pulled her hair, and she pulled his heartstrings. It was exactly what they both needed. 

Unexpected

I can assure you, we both never know what I’m going to say, but my eyes can’t look at you and not make love to you, so I promise my lips will always follow suit. 

Unlimited

I don’t want to be the other half of your soul. I want to be the one who reminds you that you’re already whole. 

The Legacy

They say love is just a chemical reaction, and that scientifically things aren’t meant to last forever. However, every new day that comes with loving him, I am absolutely certain that I have loved him before, in another lifetime, in another world. Maybe we were trees whose roots were intertwined, or maybe we were the heart and mind of someone who gave nothing but love in a world full of hate. I don’t know what we were before, but I do know that I love you. I have loved you. I will always love you. Forever. 

The Book

 She was always told that she was pretty, but it never really meant anything to her. That’s just something people say who have never read the book but look at the cover and like to think they have. 

The Curve

We all deserve that love who picks your heart up, wipes the dust from the pages and tells you your story is absolutely beautiful. That one love who tells you that the night sky only bleeds in memories that make you smile. 

That someone who chooses you every single time, like a choice they’ve already made in every other lifetime, and that every day is a journey closer to yourself, and you get to kiss that someone who tastes like the rest of your life, and you get to be with the one person who wants to show you off to the world, but always keeps your secrets safe. 

Yeah, everyone deserves that kind of love... 

The Kiss

 It’s the foundation of Fairytales. 
And the conclusion of Weddings.
The kiss of death is feared.
The kiss of a lover is needed. 
It can be feather light.
It can be fierce.
It can heal.
It can draw blood.

A simple gesture that can
communicate and elicit so much
without a single word ever spoken. 

Omega

His face was an amalgam of pleasure and pain. The sort of ecstasy that's only obtained when you offer a little more than you're really willing to give. I relished in it. Every primal moan and twist of his lean body drove me to the fucking edge of sanity. When I crossed that threshold, there was absolutely no hope of coming back.

Delayed

I think some people wait forever to start living and then realize only at the end of their lives that life has happened while they were waiting for it to start. Like a character in a movie and the real action was about to start at any minute, but never did, and that was it. That was their entire life. 

silent chaos

It is said that communication is key, but that’s simply not true. Comprehension is key. You can communicate with someone all you want, but if they don’t understand you, it’s silent fucking chaos. 

depraved

With his urge to fuck in a church and her want to mark his body with her bite, some might find them absolutely monstrous.

Anthology

He is the only book in which I devour each word and feel no need to keep track of the page number. He captures me like I was meant to read him. 

Continuous

The foreplay had started long before his fingertips had ever touched her.

It started with the smile that beamed across his face when he saw her, and when he listened to the words she spoke during dinner, totally invested in her thoughts, and completely present in the moment. It started with the way his voice sounded when he called her baby, and when he maintained eye contact as he took a sip from his drink.

That look— a mixture of confidence and pure primal lust that made her tingle in all the right places. 

Empire

If you think it’s about pysical strength and power you’re already behind. If you think control can be derived solely with ropes and a hand around her throat, you will never understand.

The true power and control comes with the bond. The bond that entwines two people. And the power of that bond is strengthened purely on trust. Complete trust, which can only be gained through connection.

Someone giving themselves completely over to you is the most powerful feeling in the world.

Those that understand know that the brush of a fingertip can hold just as much sway and power as a hand around her throat. Until you understand how the dynamics work, you are merely a boy playing in a mans world.  

Deficient

Do not say you lost me. I did not go missing. I was not misplaced. I was emotionally abandoned, discarded over time. Do not sugarcoat the ruins you created.

Arresting

Become controversy. Become the noise. Cut through the politenessof normalcy. Society demands that you blend into the wall, but darling, we have always been the masterpiece upon it.

Mint

He makes me feel things I did not know even existed. I travel someplace new without taking one step out of this city.

Luminary

We keep trying to find ways to rub our souls together like we did before they were covered in the skin of this life and the unknown of this world.

visionary

“Long before I met you, I had waited for you. I have always waited for you...”               — Him

Legendary

They will burn you at the stake when they find out that you are beautiful, funny, AND intelligent. Fuck them. Be all three. Keep the gold dust in your blood darling. Be royal as fuck. But don’t you dare be small and still. The hardest ones to hold are worth the most. 

Limitless

The universe just fucking knows when two souls are wired to wreck the world together. 

Circumstances

Some days are solely meant for sunset drives, exchanging stories around a bonfire and waking up at 12 pm. Some days are solely meant for adventures with the people you love.

undisclosed

I am the woman you pass on the street
hiding my desires under clothes.
Wearing lace and garters
I walk confident, a smile on my face. 
You, unaware that behind closed doors....
darling, you’d better say grace. 

Credence

His hand between her thighs,

her lips on his neck,

a gun behind his skull,

a knife behind her back.

If they make one wrong move,

they’ll both end up dead...

-trust is everything.

Reverie

He doesn’t search for meaning between her thighs, but rather in the scars gracing her skin, the stories they tell, and the demons she hides.

Conversion

She had effortless grace,

the type of mind

that rewired veins. 

Kalón

She hid herself behind innocence and elegance. He broke that wall using her perversions mercilessly...

Battle Scars

It is exhausting to take part in a race for which there is no finish line in sight. Tie those shoelaces tightly. Pace your breath wisely. It isn’t over just yet...

boketto

the spot where her ear meets her neck, its the closest he’s come to tasting a soul.

Elysian

He must have had a thousand poems written about him. Verbs and nouns that could thaw arctic hearts and melt iron souls.

Onism

she didnt tease him with curves and lace. his hunger ached from how she dangled her soul...

Temporal

He awoke just in time to catch the ocean at sunrise. He spied the moon still out beyond curfew tiptoeing in sleek oleander, glistening outside the landscape of dreams.

Innocent

A naive sheep entering a slaughterhouse and expecting to come out alive. Even more naive is man expecting similar result after stepping upon love.

Autobiography

It’s often overlooked, but absolutely nothing survives the inevitable marching of time. History is just a flimsy sandcastle built on the shore of our universe, and when the tide comes in, not one single name, or memory will remain. Everything will be swept away and return from where it came from...

Devoid

He craves a her

that no longer exists,

loving someone that

haunts his dreams

but in reality,

left him long ago.

The two that remain

are just strangers

and nothing more...

Ritual

I'd love to sit on a rooftop with you as we watch a thunderstorm roll in the distance, my hand in yours. As the world rages around us, we experience it from above. We exist in that moment and that moment only for the rest of time. That would be quite nice while we exist in these human forms.

Summertime

fireworks, sidewalk chalk, fresh watermelon, the smell of chlorine, classic novels well-worn, rainbows in soap bubbles, ferns in hanging baskets, cloud watching, wet hair drying, porch swings, limbs heavy with exhaustion, honey-suckle evenings. 

Density

He gently tucked my hair back behind my ear and whispered, “I can’t wait to wake up next to you, exhausted with the adventures from the night before still lingering on our skin.”

Vignette

Let’s go on adventures and explore the world together. Beaches, old libraries, mountains, castles, forests, you name it. Let’s road trip and scream our favorite songs. Picnic with me, read to me in bed. Let me flirt with you like I’m still trying to win you. Let me kiss you good morning, at red lights and in the rain. Hold my hand while I drive, dance with me in the kitchen, laugh with me, be silly with me. Let me in, let me learn all about you, the good and the bad, and let me love all of you. 

Polysemy

Honestly, when you think about life in depth, it’s crazy how mysterious it really truly is.

Death has no rules. It has no friends, nor does it have love or compassion. Yet, death is not mean, nor does not hate.

How is it, that a word we associate with such darkness and evil, is also one that leads to eternal paradise..?

Life is death, and death is life. We have got to make absolutely sure that each and every moment counts.

We need to live, live and live, and then live some more. We need to start smiling at strangers, and love those around you each and every single day. 

Just as you took your first breath, rest assure you will take your last. See, we will not cheat life, and we most certainly will not cheat death.

Hard-Line

“You’re not completely mine and I really don’t play well with others.” he whispered. 

Negotiation

When you fall for someone, a significant part of you also agrees to fall victim to the hurting.

Tilt Shift

Humans think they know exactly what they want. People who think they know what they want are just fooling themselves. Nobody really knows what they want. Not until it’s right in front of them. Then there is complete clarity. 

Key Frame

Darling,

Our souls held hands long before our eyes ever met. Your fingerprints are stained all over my entire life, and I want you in every way there is to want a person, forever. 

Inhale

We looked at each other a little too long to ever just be friends. They say they eye contact is how souls catch fire, and God... I saw the magic in his eyes. Dirty, dark, beautiful, fucking magic.

We all need someone that can handle the burn of our darker side...

Extraordinary

Your life should be so full and beautiful, that everyone can’t help but watch. Freedom is letting go of everything you’ve ever needed and chasing exactly what it is you want. That desire is what sparks interest. And when your lungs are done filling your soul with passion, you want people to look at you and say, “fuck, that was beautiful.” 

Nihilist

They told me to fear the devil, but little did they know, I damned myself to dance with him the moment I laid eyes on him. 

Domination

He is one of those moods— where the limits of morality get a little blurred. Where strong hands ripping off clothes in lust are appropriate. No need to ask, he knows exactly what he wants, and takes it. 

Primal

They often connected savagely with primal urgency. But it was those moments in between, that the intimacy was even more intense as they breathed each other in, and danced to the sound of their hearts beating together. 

lavish

love, we are a special breed. we were never meant to be tame with all the wild running in our veins.

the puzzle

There are billions of people in this world. And each person has their own unique thinking style, own point of view of the world, own way of looking at the stars, own manner of dancing in the dark. And in all these billion ways, there is one who is more or less, similar to you.

They may not be the exact replica of your soul, but somewhere, something fits- like two jigsaw pieces- that something you were looking for. That little part of your heart that was always empty, that feeling of longing, that place where you belong- it is a person, it can never be a place or a thing.

I believe the universe gives everyone the opportunity to meet their soulmates once in their entire lifetime and that's because the universe is a benign force. And when you meet them, you know. You just do. This is it. The one.

But even after that, nothing happens by itself. The universe only takes care of the meeting. The lasting- well, that's where the connection and love comes in.

Archaic Remains // 3.26

When he said “baby, promise me we will one day slow dance to 50’s love songs in our kitchen by candlelight,”
I felt that deep down in my bones. 

Suspended

I barely breathe under the weight of my own thoughts. I command time itself to bow down so I can ravage you endlessly. 

Authentic

She kissed the way she wanted to be fucked. Some nights hard until her lips bled, some days with the softest of hearts. Every time with passion. Always like nothing in the world could possibly be more important at that exact moment...

Detour

A few texts throughout the day, or maybe not. Occasional vanilla sex with a side of tedious meaningless small talk. The conversation intensity you're hoping to have lacks depth and emotional connection. Just surface bullshit. Is it insecurity and desperation that has made this kind of relationship acceptable? Maybe so. Or maybe it's just the comfortability of it all, and people fucking settle for it.

Please don’t.

Your days here on Earth are so fucking short. They should be brimming with bliss and laughter— thick with connection, intense passion, adventure, spontaneity and inspiration. Spend them with someone who is on the same level, who you crave and craves you back. Someone who shares your depth.

Inspire each other. Push and support one another. Never just settle. Rather, live and experience everything. Live this life full of discovery, passion, and intimacy.

Trivial

When you really get to know a person, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell.

That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty.

You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it, and admire it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect emotionally with a person, any physical imperfections disappear, and become irrelevant.

Time.

Sometimes all we need is time.

Time to talk.
Time to listen.
Time to be vulnerable.
Time to feel. Time to understand.
Time to heal.

Love is not something you can slack on. It requires continual effort, ongoing nurturing and care. When things start falling apart, it’s because you lack time. Love fades because over time too much time is lost.

Fearless

I will cut my soul into a million different pieces just to form a constellation to light your way home. I will write love poems to the parts of yourself you can’t stand. I will stand in the shadows of your heart and tell you I’m not afraid of your darkness.

algorithmic

we are all just equations, a sum of lifes happenings. and if we dont like the result, we have the ability to add or subtract as we wish. 

Constrained

Under no circumstances are you obliged to love someone. Love builds its foundation on trust and respect. It can be earned or lost just like that.

Restless

Tucked away in a book somewhere is a note with all the answers. It’s fragile and beautiful, but we’re too busy burning through the world to stop and read.

Novel

We never had to force love. We were drowning in it the very moment we met. ”But what if love fades?” she asked.

He laughed and said “Darling, you will never be unloved by me. You are far too tangled in my soul.”

synthesis

once you experience feeling alive, even for a second, you’ll spend the rest of your life looking for things that take you there. you’ll seek out people that show the smallest signs of being candidates to make you feel something, anything. even for a minute, to bring back that feeling you once had. be careful. 

Fingerprints

There have been innumerable people that have crossed my path in this lifetime, and no one else has touched my life quite the way he has.

He has brought to light all the things that I am, and all the things I am not. Things I've passed over a thousand times unnoticed. He's shared stories of his past and present, and within them, truth.

We have laughed and we have cried, and we have laid in bed and talked about our future for hours on end. We've made crazy, intense, passionate love, and shared pizza in bed. We've held each other in complete silence with just the sound of our own thoughts swimming in our heads.

He has inspired me to experience the world in a new light. To write like a madwoman. To not let life slip through my fingers. To be fully present, and aware. To live in the moment, and for the moment. To drink stronger sweeter coffee and talk to more strangers.

I am so incredibly thankful for him, as he has left the best fingerprints on me in this lifetime.

It truly has been the most unbelievable love story one could ever tell...

Asylum

It’s those sweet moments of support we all want. When things get crazy, there’s that one who isn’t. The one that slips their hand in your pocket and says with a smile, “I’ve got you.”

COVID-19: Quarantine

On a positive note, I’d like to think that ever since quarantining started all around the world, the air is filled with more laughter and talk. I hope that kids are playing in their backyards with their family, and that there are more people talking happily on the phone with loved ones because they actually have time to. 

And where it’s warm, I bet everyone has their windows open a little and you can smell the aroma of their dinners cooking in the evening. At night, I imagine the glow of backyard fire pits and the sound of children delighted to spend time with parents that are usually never home.

I am completely enthralled with the fact that somewhere out there, parents are probably binge watching their favorite Netflix show because they are home from work and finally have a chance to watch movies together.

I bet that neighbors wave over at each other as they sit on the porch enjoying a cold beer, or smile and say good morning when they take the dog out or when they check the mail. 

As I watch all the videos online—people playing music from their balconies with neighbors, people pranking family members and making Tiktok’s with their friends— it’s just an amazing reminder to see people just being...people.

It makes my heart so full to know there are still decent humans out there and that they are being relentlessly, beautifully human, regardless of what happens.

Preliminary

Venomous fangs, poison dipped lips, fatal eyes, and a deceiving tongue. I watch as their gaze falls across me. I lust the curiosity as they fantasize about what my skin tastes like and the enigma inside my brain.

Perceptible

He’s like that page in a book that makes you close your eyes and dream. The lust he inspires is palpable. You can feel it slowly slither across your skin and wrap itself around your throat.

illustrious

You are the only one allowed

to enter my kingdom of solitude.

Only while you're around, my King,

will I let my guard down.

Communication

She forgot how to talk

the moment she learned

that nobody understood.

Sequence

You and I run on borrowed time. Let us steal as many seconds as our frantic hands can carry.  Maybe if we run fast enough, we can escape a fate that follows behind us. Maybe we can outrun our undoing.

Panoramic

You know it is love when you get caught within someone’s hurricane, but are still grateful for witnessing the storm...

Twin Flame

I fell in love with him the moment our eyes met. I fell in love with his words, his way of thinking, with his deep conversations. I fell in love with his wisdom. He understands me in a way that I can't even fathom. He understands me in the spaces between letters, in emptiness of parentheses and silences. In the things that I did not say and preferred to keep quiet, in the things that I wanted to say but I did not know how to express. There is an affinity in our souls that fell in love with the same things— with learning, with books, with music, with experience, with love. He makes me feel like the most important person— the only person who matters to him. Like an ocean of infinite possibilities, he opens in me unexpected depths. Inside I feel a rebirth, like summer, warm and heavy, eternal in an instant, like the flow of one soul created into two people. Like a twin flame.

true self

darling,

this fire you have in your soul is beautiful. it was not meant to be extinguished for people who can’t handle your passion. 

Fire & Ice

She is the girl that never sleeps. Paper in one hand and a pen in the other. She brings life to words as the city brings life to her. She is the girl with a spring in her step and her head in the clouds. She is the girl who’s heart is filled with human art to last for generations, and an earful of what our souls sing. She wanders the streets forever curious, and forever with an open mind. She is girl who’s always undecided. For she is light. And she is darkness. Within her holds the collision of fire and ice. Not quite one, but not quite the other. She is both and she is beautiful. 

dream #666

I died and woke up in a fiery place.

I quickly realized I was in hell.

I asked the next demon why I am there,

as I’ve lived a very good life.

“You’re not being punished”, he says.

“You are the punishment.”

Indited

A golden ink inscription,

of the words you say to me,

have seeped into my brain so deeply,

that I cannot think clearly.

Entirety

You’re everything I want to believe in.

I only hope to be as beautiful as the thoughts in your head. I love when you ask me to stay, even when you know I’m not leaving. Sometimes I get this feeling that the stars are always lonely except when you & I are staring at the sky at the same time. But being two halves of the same heart never stopped your words from disappearing after it rained. If time is a storyteller, I hope it always finds us on the same page. We all have impossible dreams - mine is you. May I fall apart in your arms, in your eyes, with you. May I be as I am for a while and forever. I will love you forever, and if there’s no forever, I’ll love you until the end.

Experience

You’re not crazy, not even close. You are human. You feel and that’s absolutely the point. It’s supposed to be a little uncomfortable. This isn’t the end goal, babe. This is our fucking training ground, so let life be what it is.

No one, no matter how perfect they seem, has it all figured out. It’s a shit show for all of us, and some of us are just better at filtering it. I don’t wear masks well— I feel big and it’s messy. But it feels good to be human, it feels good to wonder and struggle and grow.

No one should take any situation too serious, because the end result is the same for all of us. You can’t control everything. Just feel, just move, just live.

And if it gets too heavy, put on some headphones and dance that shit off. 

Safeguard

I closed my eyes.
I could feel his warm skin against mine.
He gently pinned my arms above my head.
“Look at me.” he whispered.
My eyes met his.
“You are a beautiful creature, a gift— my gift. You are an intoxicating submission baby. One which I intend to cherish forever. Never forget that.”

Full Color

I don’t want to live the same week over and over and over again. I’m not sorry either. I want something more. I want spontaneous and unexpected. I want a taste of the wild. I want passion. I want to live life in full color and I don’t feel guilty for needing that.

Just be

If he wants to love you, let him love you. Let him hold doors for you, and believe him when he tells you that you are beautiful. Let yourself get lost in the moment, and laugh in the way that only happens when two souls find each other in the midst of being lost in wandering stares. If you want to love him, let yourself love him. Do not fear losing, or breaking, for love once you love someone, it exists forever. Share yourself with him, let him know what a woman looks like in flesh, and when he touches you, hold him too, so that he knows that he is loved, just as you do.

Opportunity

Danger. Everything about her spelled the kind of danger that could make order crumble. And he loved it.

Correspond

Communication is everything. Always, always tell people exactly how you feel, where you’re at in life, what you need assurance of, what questions you need answered. Communicate everything because anything and everything can be misinterpreted. For as humans, we don’t see things how they really are, we see them how we are.

Tones

Our hues spilled into each other, creating a color not yet known to the rest of the world...

Heliocentric

Sometimes in life strange things happen. Things you never saw coming. Like maybe someday someone will come along and offer you an entire galaxy when all you expected was a single planet.

authorized

An empowered mind cannot be stopped. It has discovered how to free itself, and it will do so every time it feels remotely threatened.

Battlefield

Seventeen years young, and she had already lived enough lives to fill a small city.

Incalculable

As I ran my fingers across a globe of the world, I whispered, “where does it hurt?” It answered, “everywhere, everywhere, everywhere...”

Pause

One of the most satisfying moments in your life will be those few seconds when you’re out of breath and inches away from someone whose definition of home is your name...

Exposure

Explosions went off in my head the day you told me you feel the same surge of energy I do around you. We are walking fire hazards.

Yield

Love is a two way street, and I will patiently wait in the traffic if that means one day I will make it home with you.

unguarded

being vulnerable enough to tell people how much you care about them is infinitely more brave than pretending to be above love and using edginess as a method of self-preservation.

Proper Order

The day our eyes met, it was crystal clear that the stars had realigned themselves. They spelled out your name and the thousand ways we were never supposed to be....

unconventional

i live my life at cross purposes with society’s established narrative. no milestones will be met in said order, or at the designated time. no categories will be complied with. nothing will be done at the appointed time or even ever. i will repeat some things endlessly and pass all acceptable limits. i don’t care. i will walk backwards through time and spit in the face of any destiny offered to me.

impressions

when reality trips you, daydreams should cushion your landing.

Home

Surround yourself with people you can think out loud with. People who you aren’t scared to share your thoughts with, your insecurities, your failures. People who encourage you to follow your dreams and people who make you laugh so hard your stomach fucking hurts. People who understand you on such a fundamental level, fuck— it’s like coming home.

Antithesis

She was a contradiction. So easy to please and yet only a few could ever truly understand why she was what she was. And even less would love her for it.

Circumstance

Just like that, she retreated into a story she never meant to write for herself.

Adjustment

When people say they have changed— no one ever changes completely. They just become a fuller, and hopefully better, version of themselves.

sustained

i want you so close that they cannot begin to tell us apart.

Chapter 12, page #13

Soul drunk morning.
Skin on skin.
Art between the sheets.
Connection intoxication.
130 mph, exotic car, open highway.
Holding hands, music loud, smiling.
Lunch in the city, eye contact.
Adventure. Art museum by chance.
Stealing kisses in the elevator.
Hands in places they want to call home.
Nothing else matters...

the invitation

when he holds your hand, raises it to his lips for a kiss—like royalty, while maintaining eye contact the entire time.  

oh. my. fucking. god.

Déjà Vu

You felt familiar the moment I met you. A lovely sort of déjà vu. The minute we spoke I became overwhelmed by the powerful sensation we had been here before. And when we kissed, I felt the energy of a thousand lives on your lips, as though our souls had known one another all along.

Embossed

He tasted like a paper cut from my favorite book. I’ve never had something hit my tongue with such a territory to my soul. It was as if he knew me as a word, and kept whispering it until it was pressed deep into my bones.

Home

“‘Kiss me.” she said. And all he heard in his heart was, “I’ve found you, you’re safe now.”

Thermogenesis

He was danger. She was chaos. They were bound to clash marvelously and tragically.

Unchained

He wrapped her safely in his arms and smiled. “Baby, I just can’t keep quiet about you - to friends, to family, even perfect strangers on the street. I want to shout it from every rooftop in every city and town. I want to announce my affections for you with such passion that even the farthest stars will know who you are.”

discontent

we dance with our demons to an endless melody— swaying, sizing up our lover, seeing who trips first.

Absorbed

Love is a drug and you were the first hit. I remember the sting of the needle and the rush of the high. I knew then that you were the addiction I would die for.

discord

I am trying to make every moment count, without throwing myself all over the place, without tearing myself apart. I am trying to make sense of the chaos inside of me, without breaking myself, without killing myself at the end of the day.

Razor’s edge

We walk the line between
destiny and disaster.
The world begs us
to slow down,
but we keep going faster.

Whether we end up
in each other’s arms
or go down in flames,
in their final moments
my lips will be wrapped
around your name.

Cause & Effect

"Baby, I need you."

Content

Love

Happiness

Paradise

Crashhhh....

"Baby, I love you."

Euphoria

Intoxication

High

Excitement

Rushhhh.....

"Baby, I need to see you."

Withdrawal

Depression

Dependency

Cravings

Crashhhh....

"Baby, one more time."

Pleasure

Heaven

Ecstasy

Exhilaration

Rushhhh....

"Baby..."

Irritable

Depressed

Disphoric mood

Angry

Suicidal

Crashhhh....

"Baby, I can't live without you."

Rushhhh...

Receive love, take a loan, get an advance.
Fuck yeah...
Good feelings ridden with debt when you crash.

beauty in darkness

My dark nature is pure white.
I am the innocent.
The protector.
The destroyer.
The unpredictable soul.
The spiritual angel.
Living on the edge.
Living to the fullest.

I seek more purity and beauty in darkness.

Exist.
Express.
Explore...

Unrivaled

There are three types of people you’ll meet in your life.

Type one will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that they only find interesting, ignoring the rest.

The second type will take their time reading through every one of your chapters and fold corners of you that inspired them most, so maybe they can go back and re-read their favorite parts.

It’s the third type that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book, and remembers every chapter, beginning to end, word for word.

Motive

“I have never had a desire to just fuck you,” he whispered. “It was always my intention to own and submit you under a beautifully sadistic pleasure, which would be all you'll ever need...”

Luminosity

the afterglow that he radiates is unlike anything she has ever felt. she is afraid of basking in such warmth and being incapable of finding light elsewhere.

Entropy

He liked it when she was innocent. But when she was wicked...FUCK. 

ignition

In a near voiceless whisper
I could feel his words
tiptoe through my ears,
landing delicately
on my eardrums.
His hushed erotica
was emotionally dangerous,
both to him and myself.

Standard

"I am intimidated by the fear of being average." She said one day. He laughed. "You? You may be many things, but fucking average is not one of them."

"Yeah, but I can’t always be remarkable." She insisted. "What if you wake up one day and decide you are bored?"

He took her hands and pressed them to his lips. "Baby, the only thing I will be deciding when I wake up is whether I should kiss you or let you sleep a little longer. “And,” he added with a grin, "you know I will never be able to resist you."

constant in the chaos

your laughter rolls in like a hurricane. i now understand why people find a thrill in chasing storms.

you’re strong like an earthquake. i can see it in the muscles of your neck as you tilt your head back when i slide my lips around you or in how your jaw tightens before you moan my name.

your thoughts never cease. it’s amazing how much you know about the theories of philosophers who were much less optimistic about our fate than you are.

your heart beat is the only thing about you that is ordinary, a flashing red stop light that slows me down to show me the importance of your existence, yet it is still superior to any other pulse i’ve ever had the opportunity to listen to.  

control

He’s watched her, and it makes him sad. Because greatness is about vision. And she has made herself blind to everything but what her eyes can see.

Duration

Time moves with or without you. It's up to you how you use it. It's up to you how you let people affect how you use it.

High Key

Redundant kisses and mild confessions. Replayed, we get caught up in the moment. The here and now, but there’s nothing like the next, the new. The inner termoil is just a facade, as gratification is painted as selfishness.

Regions

Isn’t it strange how we humans have a way of missing what was never ours?

It’s like the vacant space inside of us could be filled with them.

We think we catch their voice in the crowds, when they’re simply echoing inside of our brains.

What’s that word?

Pareidolia

supply & demand

They asked me for drugs,
so I told them about her smile.

Six Words

6 words from the mouth of a man. “I love the sounds she makes...”

The Hunt

“I’m never satisfied. You’ve fed this wolf too well,” she said. “I barely fit this sheep’s clothing now. Maybe I need to hunt again. Yes, the hunt will sate the other side of me...”

5 a.m.

Coffee is the perfume my house puts on at 5 a.m. when the sun is still hiding...

The Chase

He stood, undoing the buttons of his shirt. 

“Ten seconds,” he said. 

She looked confused. She had expected other words to come out of his mouth like undress or come here. 

“What?” Maybe she had misread the tension in the room. She lowered her gaze to the bulge in his pants.

She hadn’t. 

“You have ten seconds to hide. Then I will seek you out.”

“Your fantasy is hide and seek?” she asked. 

“No. My fantasy is the chase. I am going to hunt you and when I find you, I will bury myself so far inside you, the only thing you’ll be able to say is my name.” 

That seemed fair. 

Tension

“So what are you saying?” she asked. 

He sighed, and brushed his finger along her cheek. 

“Darling, I would burn this world for you...”

infiniteness

Forever trapped between the Romantic era poet vibe where I stand in withering nature and cry over the beautiful philosophical messages in the river while drunk on wine and the Victorian era poet vibe where I sit in my candlelit chamber at midnight with a raven tapping on my window, thinking of the darkness and death and nothing more.

lost and lovely

going into a second hand bookstore and seeing the worn out paperback you’ve been trying to find for months and finding an odd bookmark inside the musty pages feels like fucking divine providence....

ode to autumn

illegible handwriting, coffee rings on notebooks, putting gloves on only to take them off again, sixteen candles (1984), walking outside when it’s not raining enough for an umbrella but just enough to fog up your glasses, sound of crows in the distance, leaves that aren’t quite crunchy, deadlines, pen smudges, leaving work early only to find out its dark outside, church bells, cinnamon, cold noses, swaying trees, full moons, cuffed sleeves, silence... 

93 days

If you are tired of this world,
Hold my hand, sit next to me.
Pour your heart out like a flooding river.
Darling, I am not afraid of crashing seas.

side-step

the longer realizations are avoided, the harder they pound through your chest once they finally strike.

Confessions #151

“Can I tell you a secret?” he whispered in between kisses. “You’re on my mind even when you aren’t. It’s the craziest thing. I am so overwhelmed and blown away by what I feel inside for you, that all I can do is just give in. I’m not used to being this vulnerable. I’m not used to giving this much of myself to anyone- ever. I’m usually in control, and I’m not, and that’s fucking terrifying to me.”

The honesty in his voice was so moving, fucking powerful.

I inched my body closer towards him, and his eyes were pleading in their beautiful ocean blue beauty. I touched his soft face and said, “Baby, this was the truth I’d spent my entire life hungering for. Vulnerability is absolutely beautiful. And when someone opens up and you can just feel their heart spilling into their words, there’s something special about that, you just let it envelop you completely.”

unreserved

She was enchanting with that tenth-rate kind of charm you can’t help being tempted by, which people feel ashamed of being tempted by, and which he shamelessly- in everyone’s earshot – declared himself tempted by...

witchcraft

I could feel the energy building silently between us as we stood in that room, a kind of pleasurable tension, an expectancy, as if it would’ve taken only the slightest move for something to explode.

There was something exciting about it, and dangerous too.

revelation

The first day I met you your eyes told stories before you ever spoke a word, and those words told my soul that it had finally found a home.

Radiance

I’ve heard them say that wild women are an unexplainable spark of life. They ooze freedom and seek awareness, they belong to nobody but themselves yet give a piece of who they are to everyone they meet.

If you are lucky enough to ever meet one in this lifetime, hold on to her. She’ll allow you into her chaos, but she’ll also show you her magic.

explosive

Mythology 
Biology
Psychology
Anthropology
Empty sky
Endless sea
Awakening to 
the same old 
questions
who or what 
the fuck are we?

burden

There are legacies mixed into our blood, old contracts written in a hand only partially similar to our own.

Generational curses.

We are under no obligation to live in the houses that our fathers built. It’s ok, take a lighter to it’s walls, watch it burn to the ground.

Partial

You don’t have to be at the ocean to drown. You don’t have to be near water at all. Thoughts alone are sometimes enough to drown you...

—We are our own worst enemies.

Confessions

“Mine,” he whispers. 

“Yours,” she breathes. 

divinity

he fucks me like a God. there’s no part of scripture that ever prepared me for him.

his hand delivers communion around my throat while i spare no effort to resist, and his lips whisper the sweetest hymns into my ear as he gently slides inside of me.

he confesses how long he’s looked for a place to worship and, oh how I put him straight onto his knees. as he sinks to the floor and moans like he can’t help himself, i wonder if he knows that his energy coursing through my veins, allows my heart to continue to beat... 

faultless

Your heart beats in my lower spine like a truthful lullaby, while I mark you with smudges of lust. And yet, this desire for temptation, this need to open the eyes of innocence, it’s what the monsters gave me. It’s what I drank the obsidian river for.

We are only human.

So let twisted tongues betray us if they must. We are in Eden, tantalized by eternal life, and oh how our blurred vision is so crystal clear...

elemental

like beautiful sheets of silk, this life unfolds before my very eyes. i run out of hands to savor it. i run out of breath to sing of it. there is too much of everything. it crashes into me all at once.  the perfect balance of hardship and ecstasy haunts my being. there is nothing that can be done to escape the glorious paradox.

Coffee Thoughts #211

I love the Sun.

And I will spend my whole life chasing its rays, drowning in the flames despite knowing that it will hurt in the end. 

Is that not what love is?

To chase what you love even if it hurts like hell, is that not what love is?

fortuity

It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee.

lethality

“You speak so highly of him,” he said to her, “Why do you do that? Why do you speak of him as if he put the stars in the sky when he did nothing but break you so god damn much that the cracks in your heart were practically visible through your eyes.”

She laughed, “That’s the thing about love, isn’t it? You’ll let them get away with murder, even if it’s your own...”

Five and Dime

There’s this girl. She’s is a one-stop-shop of orange blossoms that bloom like summer-candy kisses. She only sells to people she likes, and she’s in high demand, so be persuasive. Her prices are outrageous, and not many can offer love, so she takes payments in the form of lies. Why don't you tell her your best one? And she’ll see what she can do...

patchwork

So much of getting older is unlearning and reshaping your understanding of who you are and what you want and need in this short time on Earth. 

black & white

That’s the thing, I’m either absolutely disappointed with the world and fucking hate it, or I find everything I lay eyes on absolutely painfully fucking beautiful. There is no in-between... 

cover

she blushes as her eyes meet his. they both have seen so much more of each other than the half-smiles they reveal to outsiders.

deep thoughts #821

You are a very good reason to sleep through a sunrise. And I know we’ve abandoned stoplights to feel wanted. I’m so used to being lost inside the thoughts inside my own mind. But in another lifetime I was the first snowflake to kiss your nose. I’ll teach you how to find poetry in everything - I’ll teach you how to find it all right inside of you. 

the bridge

You know when you're driving and it's pouring down rain, you drive under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it's so peaceful for a split second. Then you finally get out from under the bridge, and everything hits you a little harder than before.  You are my bridge.

departure

when my enthusiasm for love dies out completely, i want them to engrave your name into its headstone.

Six Words

6 words from the mouth of a man. 

“There’s this girl, and I’m devoted...”

penalty

his ocean eyes call me to a world of secrecy and hushed whispers, to a place from which i may never willingly return.
I like him in my system. I need him in my system. But darling, our love has an expiration date...

ascendancy

I used to spend my life tip-toeing quietly, terrified of the possibility that I might disturb someone or something in their respective states of peace. To me, silence was the best gift a person could offer.

I thought existing as a deep serene was what others might want from me—a faint, little thing that could slip into your life without a sound, and leave no waves in the process. No one likes a burden, you see.

Now, my footsteps land heavy and crack ground that they’ve always assumed to be solid. I hope the Earth caves under the weight of my existence, like it is more monumental than every star in the sky.

And when you hear of an earthquake so grand it breaks every scale we have ever come to accept, know that I have finally reached my full potential, as I was always destined to do.

black hole

i like the moon because its subtle glow hides the congregation of freckles on my face.

and when he breathes constellations down my neck, i do nothing to refute the power of my stars.

i am the black hole he’s been searching for for years. with no sense of time or direction, our lips have a passion only for the hungry. 

just two ambitious souls who long to conquer the galaxy with a lover at their right hand.

Grail

He begged to kneel at her altar and drink from her chalice of life.

Stately

The Classics warn us
about charming men
in elegant garments.

The handsome ones
known to deceive with
just a flash of their smile.

The deliciously rebellious,
charismatically wealthy ones,
the infamously brilliant ones. 

The ones with dirty,
twisted, lovely minds,
whose kiss tastes like a revolution.

The ones who cause your heart
to catch fire or something worse— 
maybe a feeling....

The devil is and will always be a gentleman.

evident

it was crystal clear.
and neither one wanted
to be the first to admit it.
so they spoke different words
that meant the same thing. 

Memo

I hate that feeling I get when I am about to leave somewhere, and I know I’ll not only miss the people I love, but I’ll miss the person I am now right here in this very moment, because I’ll never be this exact way ever again.