sick in the head

A conspiracy theory...?

Sure. Why not. 

No Love, it's all in your head.

Is it? Or not?

Nah...haha, really it is.

Wait...hold on, maybe its not!

Just kidding, it is. 

Maybe you just forgot.

Maybe its the fact you'll never know.

Your head running crazy,

matter of time till you blow.

A daily routine of looking and searching.
A daily routine that drives you insane.
A daily routine of making something out of nothing, wasting life, just stop,

Jesus Christ where's the fucking curtain?

Bipolar mood swings, accusations, foaming out the mouth. "A picture, a poem, a status was set, must be a signal, a sign, shit...I don't know yet!"

C'mon now bitch stop trying to make a story, get a drink, pop a pill,
sit back and bask in your unfound glory.

If I don't want you to see it,

believe me you wont.

If it's there, it's on purpose

because I want it to hurt.

And then it starts over,

your daily routine,

the online stalking,

obsessing to figure it out.

Drink your bottle, run your mouth,

make some calls and trash your house.

Honey please, your sick in the head,

its getting old, its late, your psycho,

go to bed.

See I'm a bad bitch,
and its a waste of your time,
I'm always two steps ahead,

never two steps behind.

Oops thought you got me, but catch me if you can. I've got my felony shoes on and bitch, I can run like the wind.
Just kidding I am. But did you make sure to take all your crazy medicine..?

Just kidding again, Love...

I'm kidding...I am!!

Your highs and lows, another drink of the bottle, life wastes away, getting ready to topple, all you can do is sit back with a drink and a smoke and try and guess my next move...

Did I mention you're a joke?

Oh my God, here it goes, its happening again! "Where'd you go? Who were you with? Did you use your phone?? Let me check it bitch! Give it to me!! What'd you search? Was it her? LET ME FUCKING SEE!" 

Damn, for Christ sake, let her be.

Give it up,

let it go,

and listen to what I say,

because it is what it is,

if there's a will,

there's always a mother fucking way.

 

Between overly obsessing and your drinking habit, damn Love, what a life for you and your family. A daily drunken scream fest of fucked up false accusations, survival and agony. 

the imprint

I want to always remember
 your skin
and the feeling of your body 
pressed against mine.

I want it to burn into my brain,

to be branded 
on the inside 
of my mind.

I don’t want the thought
 of you touching me,
to ever leave my head.

Overpowered

I ain't even from here,

and I run this town bitch.

The jury has spoken

and I'm still the shit. 

Majority rules.

You lose.
The numbers don't lie though,
check the scoreboard.

Overpowered.

Outplayed. 

Strike three sweetheart.

You're out.

The soul.

From the outside looking in,
there was a light glowing softly.
It looked warm and cozy,
like somewhere I'd like to stay.

Through your eyes,

Into your soul. 

limits

You can see the anger

bubble through her veins

settling on her tongue

in form of cruel words

her irises turning dark

from the volumes of rage

that had been caged

in her chest. 

there are limits to

how much a person can bare,

and her limits were broken...

she was eternally broken.

undressed

when she undresses
 in front of you,

assure her 
that you love every piece
 of her
more every day.

remind her that ‘every
 piece’

includes even the 
parts of her

that she cannot
 seem to swallow.

time shortage

Life is too short

for shitty sex

and bad relationships.
So when you find that someone,

make sure they fuck you right,
and treat you how you deserve

to be treated. -"unknown"

favor

If you’re reading this,
and you're searching for that one person,
that will change your life,
do me a favor
and take a look in the mirror.

It will tell you all you need to know.

the curve

Darling, you could speak

all night long,

and I won't hear one word.

I’ll tell you what though,

I’ve studied your lips,

and I know every curve

the past

We wear our past lovers like scars.

Deeply...

Sometimes to the bone.

The mark just light enough,

so that you can remember.

Always there, so that you’ll never forget.

the spill

Secrets slipped


from my frigid lips,

and I thought,


you would catch them
,

but I realized


how wrong I was


when I looked down...

unused words

mornings


blanketed in snow


unused words


on the tip of my tongue


leaving me 
with thoughts

of you and me...

abdication

17.

Sometimes 
we just have to let
 our bodies
 embrace
 the knife.

waiting

we fix our hair

and paint our faces.

first we make ourselves beautiful

Then wait for time to claim us.

ravaged

I lost myself
in a crowd
and laughed
at the idea. 

tomorrow looks
so different
through
someone else’s eyes.

devoid

You can no longer

tell the difference

between making love

and fucking.

Both take up time,

and both make you

feel so small.

Lost inside of

moans and pleasure,

and the feeling of

absolute vulnerability.

the sound

I have heard them say,

that you should fall in love

with the sound of

someones voice

before anything else,

it will be the first thing

you will lose

when they are gone.

realization

those little moments,

like standing outside

all alone, at midnight

in mid-december,

so still, so silent...

staring up at the cold black sky. 

those little moments

that make you realize,

just how small you really are.

simplicity.

a simple life together.


a place that we make our own.


the scent of coffee traveling

down the hall to wake us.


tall socks,

white sheets and indigo

colored coffee mugs.

breakfast without our clothes, 

laughing as we pretend

to read the paper.


cuddling together,

our legs intertwined


as I watch your face. 

smiling as you drift off to sleep.

the glow of our shadows

casted delicately on the wall


as we hush each other

not to wake the neighbors.

a simple life.

trapped

What if I were to tell you,

that my heart is just a black hole,
that I never meant to suck you into

and get aimlessly lost

within its gravitational force?

I never meant for you to fall in.
I never meant to absorb all your light.
I never meant to trap you here
inside the point of no return....

the dark

baby, please hold me safe in your arms

and keep the world away from me.
its black and dark,
and crawls inside my head,
and then I cant sleep
and I hate myself for existing.

alive

like fire, we touch

and we feel alive. 

burning away the parts of us

that romanticized suicide. 

you feel the heat inside of me 

but you don't complain

that i scar your lips

and scar your knees with love.

because you want to taste

what it’s like to burn,

even if it means going up in flames.

words and thunder

"baby, please just let me love you until I no longer can..."

lost in the beauty
between your words

and your thunder.

I love the way you beg.  

pulse

I do not have the words


or the hands

to put you
 back together,

but somewhere
 in my heart,

there is a pulse
 that believes

in your strength...

the pen

They told me
you can never win
but then they handed me
paper and a pen...

change

Incredible change happens in your life
when you decide to take control
of what you do have power over
instead of craving control
over what you don’t.

exstinguish

Someone once asked me,

"Do you think it's possible to unlove a person?"

"Of course you can learn to unlove a person," I said, "but it’s like setting yourself on fire 

and trying to put the flames out with their name."

fire vs fire

We had the whole galaxy
of stars to stare at and desire
and yet when we met
it was fire meets fire.

The hook

i found you on my doorstep
where you stood shivering in the cold.
i took you inside
where i told you to hang your heart
on a hook so it too will warm up.

i made you hot chocolate
and you told me the names
of all the bones you knew,
all the books you’ve read.
we compared lists
of all the places we wanted to see,
things we wanted to do.

tomorrow i will let you borrow my coat when you leave,
hoping you’ll forget your heart on the hook.

brand me

you whispered things

in my ear today

and I felt a rush

fueling that fire within.

my skin burned in ecstasy,

your name on my trembling lips.

this is sinning...?

Cold chills, insatiable.

I want to sin this way endlessly.

brand me with the mark

of pleasure obsessed,

forgiveness offered chastity.

I choose you baby and hell instead.

unfinished

I began a poem,

that I left unfinished

on your lips,

and I am afraid inspiration

won’t find me,

until I taste my words again...

no cure

let me tell you a little secret
about this thing i have learned.

see, if you take in someone else’s

poison, thinking you can cure them

by sharing it, you will instead,

store it within you.

baggage

you think you’re unhappy

because of where you are,

but if you’re not happy there,

you won’t be anywhere.

it really doesn’t matter where

you run to,

you take yourself with you.

dread and hate

Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful woman
born of two universes.

One of dread.
One of hate.

She was never quite sure
which universe she was in,
until she was submerged
in consequence.

On occasion the two universes
would become blurred

and she would become both beings-
to be one of power

and one of spite.

She saw herself in a different light
-or perhaps in none at all.
She felt her veins run fire
as she pulled away from pity
and she pulled inside to divine.

The legend lasted for so long,
she devoured her own conscience.

The ache got lost in loathing
and the hate took up its arms,
and she became the being
that shouldn’t exist at all.

consumed

Perhaps sometimes,

you can get so obsessed

with the betrayals of others,

that you forget your own.

reverence

The hours we spend together,

go by the fastest,

but they are the hours

I look forward to the most.

You are an amazing person,

with an incredibly beautiful,

fascinating soul.

The way you love and adore me,

is absolutely mind blowing...

reflect

look to the west baby,

and there

our memories

will be written in the sky...

dominator

The fountain of youth

can’t save you,

because time will murder you.

Beyond our sight

and reach, we have a life...

but we don’t hold the string.

inside

If the whole world was blind,
how many people would you impress?
No amount of physical beauty,
will ever be as valuable as a beautiful heart.
Lend me your eyes,
I can change what you see...

what I'm not

I am not an artist.


I am not a photographer.



I am not a designer or a musician.

I am not a poet, a painter or a writer.



I am not a philosopher,

a place, a smile, or a style.
I am an expressionist.

liberation

It’s the pathway to insanity.

It destroys the mind. 

When you watch those four walls,

keeping what’s left of you together,
crumble and decay.

In the end,

the only battle that counts,

is the one between you

and your mind. 

Only one victor.

One way out.

Do you escape from your mind,

or do you escape through it?

today

The moment you feel like
you have to prove your
worth to anyone,is the moment
to absolutely and utterly walk away.


The best day of your life,

is when you decide

your life is your own.

Know your self worth. 

No apologies or excuses.

If you have to walk away
from the negative people in your life...

Then walk.

It may not seem like it at the time,
but it's actually a gift to yourself.

From that day forward,

you alone are responsible

for the quality of your
life and the people in it.

Keep walking and don't look back. 

Because today,is a brand new day. 

Congratulations...

Today is the day your life really begins.