tied up

This love poem
is bound and gagged
roadside...
off the dirtiest highway.
And it’s all your fault.

the deal

her smile was real,

but her soul was dead.

what a deal she made,


with the devil in her head.

call me over baby,

let me feel the sin in your hands

Heights

I can smell the victim mentality

on your neck like a perfume
...

you wonder what nightmares

plague me and where have I been.

what have I struggled through

to make it here.

to have climbed above


the world and to stare down

on everyone like a god.

I have wanted this,
and I am not afraid of heights...

map work

Map work.
A geography of issues
that act like
the Bermuda Triangle.
If I let you in,
they’ll drag you down,
and your old self will never be found.

break hard

They call me Hollywood 

because I break hard

and mend like a motherfucker,

all sexy and full of heartbreakingly beautiful scars...

Unique

instead of holding my hand,

you wrap your fingers

around my wrist, 

pressing your fingertips

against my veins

so you can feel my heartbeat.

Pawned

Welcome to Hollywood.  
Don’t bother 
leaving anything 
better than before, 
It’ll be picked for scrap 
and pawned... 
to the lowest bidder.

Stage 5 Clinger

Stage 5 clinger.

You're my number one fan.

Everywhere I look,

you're chasing me down.

Obsessive.

Insecure.

Sick in your head.

Want my autograph?

Damn Love, just ask instead.

either way

She said,

"You're a good liar Baby,

one of the best I've ever seen.

Make me believe it's reality,

when it's merely just a dream.

But you see, leave or stay...

I don't care, either way,

because I'm too in love

to walk away..."

fuel

You're the kind of soul

Who fuels those kind of wishes 

For Hell’s existence...

detached

I want to care,

but I don’t.

I look at you

and Darling,

all I feel

is tired...

anything you want

It’s all overrated.

I just want to play 

a little game called,

“I’m the perfect girlfriend

you never had.”

And the truth is...

you’ll never have me

That’s right. 

Call me baby,

Call me beautiful,

Call me anything you want,

And I’ll kiss you

like I want nobody but you. 

Then one day...

I’ll disappear on you,

and you’ll be dying for me.

Four Eighty One

Day 481

I’m gonna 
Fight for peace 
And 
Fuck for virginity 
Then 
Gorge for hunger 
And 
Vlog for literacy

And in the end 
I’ll look those bullies in the eye
And I’ll ask 
Who’s the loser now

panoptic

I am a product,

Of your history,

And your imagination.

Every word,

You ever read,

Is about you.

And that is

Fucking beautiful.

Lapse

You said
this distance is poison
and it fucks with your mind....

we are never empty

into the woods

a blanket,

you and me.

carve our names into the trees.
 

you show me how to skip rocks

and I point out shapes in the clouds,

you paint constellations down my spine, 
tiny traces that map out where you've been.

An afternoon nap on your chest, 
wrapped in your arms,

you exhaust me with sex and passion,

you tell me I'm your everything...

I smile your favorite smile. 

There are some things

you just can't pass up,

as impossible,

absurd

illogical

and naive

as they may seem.

We are never empty...

 

limited

The way we are living

slits the wrists

of rising prayers

and we can only cut

so many veins

until the bleeding

never ever stops.

misery mistress

self-destruction 

is your misery mistress,


your muse of a different caliber,


it’s like playing

Russian Roulette


with a modicum

of pharmacology.


you fear what you don’t understand,


and dabble where you don’t belong


to satisfy this gnawing beast
...

Desecrated

You trade in one addiction for another. 

the powder

for cigarettes 

the pills 

for booze. 

you swap your cynicism 

for religion 

and your addiction to hate 

for mindless sex...

Your soul is adulterated.

You are wasting away.

deprecated,

desecrated,

ravaged. 

you wreak havoc. 

self destruction,

your choice to make. 

looming

there is a ruckus
 amongst us,


and it shall be soon


when arms are raised


against the shadow that looms

silence

You ask me to tell you who you are.

I am not her. 

I'll leave you empty handed,

because I cannot be your cold,
dreary rain, and tell you to sleep through the beautiful sunrise.

I cannot help you find what you want,
but, if you follow the pockets of silence,
I have a feeling you will discover the unexpected.

decisions

You wear a mask for work,

another for family,

You have two for friends,

depending on which ones

are around at the moment...

Yet a different one

for out in social situations,

or public places,

You keep several in your

car as well.

As an estimate,

there must be around twelve.

No wonder we can never find ourselves. 

How would that be even possible,

when we can’t decide on what

face to show the world?

concrete

There will be nights

when you'll try to erase

my name from your lover's skin

with your tongue...

and days when you'll kiss

harder to drown out the failed punchline of my mouth.

But for what it’s worth love,

you know as well as I do,

that what is written

on the body once,

will never disappear...

fire

She radiated warmth

everywhere she went.

You could almost see the flames
slipping off her tongue when she spoke.

Embers glowed red hot beneath her fingernails,
as she singed each and every person she touched.

The fire within her burned so bright.

And you keep those burns I gave you as reminders...

Reminders of my touch,

reminders of my love,

...of my fire.

Force

When you try to put

two magnets together,

there is a force that

makes them repel.

And no matter how

hard you push, they will

never meet each other.

Certain relationships

are a lot like that.

Some continuously push harder

but they fail to see

how the one they love pulls away.

because sometimes,

there just isn’t enough love

between you

to hold you together

no matter how hard you try.

There will always be that

force keeping you apart.

rare

some people bring out 
the worst in you, 
others bring out the best.

and then there are those remarkably rare, 
addictive ones who just bring out the most
--of everything.

they make you feel so alive.

they would do anything for you,

no matter the consequences,

that you’d follow them straight

into hell, just to keep getting your fix.