untold

the first time i saw you,

your hair was messy,

your eyes were shining,

and you had a smile

spread wide across your face.

you were absolutely beautiful,

but I didn't tell you so

we stayed up late at night,

sharing laughs and telling stories,

spilling secrets and speaking our minds,

and somewhere between

the whispers and giggles,

I fell in love with you,

because you were absolutely

beautiful, but I didn't tell you so.

eventually we got closer

and I saw the darker side of you.

I learned your fears and insecurities,

the things that keep you up at night

you thought it would scare me away,

but I wasn't going anywhere. 

I thought you were absolutely

beautiful, but I didn't tell you so

Time passed,

and I began to see you change.

your eyes were no longer shining,

and you didn't have that smile

spread wide across your face.

Even though you couldn't see it,

you were absolutely beautiful,

but I didn't tell you so.

one day at school,

you didn't show up,

and i just figured you were sick.

I never thought it could be anything more than a simple illness.

The next day I heard the news,

and i didn't want to believe it.

I knew it was the truth

but I couldn't bear the thought.

They had found you

in the bathroom

writs cut,

neck tied,

lifeless..

but still beautiful. 

And you never knew it. 

But this is what you were-

absolutely beautiful,

and I should have told you so.

the gun

my poetry is a loaded gun.
and I'm never quite sure
if the bullets are hate, hurt, or love.

a meeting

Last night,

your nightmares and I

had a meeting

on exactly how to hurt you.

the brick

Of all the people you have kissed

you said I was your favorite,

because I didn’t flinch

when you curled your hand

around my neck and tightened.

I looked you in the eyes and said 
"Baby, I break the law because I’ve never broken a heart, now I want to know what it feels like to be the brick not the window pane”.

When she’s drunk

she’ll dress up for you, 

all straps and lace and stockings. 
When she’s high 

she’ll dress down for you, 
all skin and skin and skin.

crimson flow

As the crimson flows


from your neck
,

I loosen my bite,

a moan escapes your lips...

and then a smile.

checkmate

Did you expect it all to stop,

at the wave of your hand?

Like the sun’s just gonna drop 
if it’s night you demand?

     Love, even in the dark,

it's still all the same.

I have the upper hand,

I hold that power,

not you...understand?

Like a game of checkers,

a game of fucking chess

I'm dominating the board,

I decide what's next.

I decide your fate.

Me.

Not you.

King me bitch,

I win. 

Checkmate.

You lose.

unsheltered

Face value, is one thing. 

But take the time

to look past that,

and see someone’s vulnerability,

it makes you see them in a different light. 

Vulnerability is one of the layers of beauty,
and I love that there is beauty

in emotions and people’s vulnerability.

delicate

'I will break you,' she whispered,
'into so many pieces that
only I will be able to ever
put you back together again'.

intruder

You’re the last

person that got in

before I started

building walls

around me again

incomparable

There’s nothing 
more

deliciously sexy 
in a person,

than their ability to quiet

your anger 
by just their kiss...

the rush

the wind wails


through open windows


the seat belt unlatched


as i watch
 as life


passes by at 
110 mph.

insistent

I fucking loathe how ignorant

and completely moronic

some people are.

When someone has made

it clear on multiple occasions;

"leave me the fuck alone"

Common courtesy would be to,

leave them the fuck alone!

Would it not?

It's like these dumb fucks

brains flatline intermittently

from consuming too many drugs

and too much alcohol,

and they suddenly

and conveniently

forget that they STILL

don't exist to you....

God damn people. Save your fucking brain cells
.

enscribe

I will only let you touch me,
if your hands are so full of intention,
that every touch of your fingers,

feels like you’re writing
a novel on my skin...

generated power

We’re not hell

but we are close.

electric words

bloody thumbs

bruised lips

stained fingertips

bare feet

holes in our lungs,

reminders to breathe

when burning in flames.

lets try not to

burn the world

down with us.

transaction

Memories are so much

more than images.

Memories are full

of beating hearts

and breathing lungs.

You can destroy a photo

in a second,

but darling, you can’t

cut a memory in half

with even the sharpest knife.

neurosis

They tried to buy happiness
,

but charged to many attempts
.

Now they're broke and broken.

Vagrants.

Transients with happiness out of reach
,

sorrow, debts and bad habits

surround them, and they know,

they have only themselves

to blame for their failure. 

psychological dependency

As our breathing slowed,
sweat glistening all over your body,
into my ear you whispered between breaths,   

"Baby, just the feel of your skin against mine, 
is more addicting than any drug 
that has ever ran through my veins..."

And then we pushed replay...

obscuration

he slept in drizzles

with thoughts of downpours,

with rainy dreams

and thunderous nightmares.

gray clouds gathered

above his bed

and he was drowned asleep

with stormy thoughts

of her in his cloudy head.

systemic

The angry, jealous and broken hearted

will believe just about any lie they’re told,

including the ones they tell themselves....

meditation

At which point in time,

does one begin to wonder 

which is worse,

knowing and always worrying,

or worrying and just never

quite knowing for sure...

There are two choices love.

There is only one answer.

the place

You grabbed me hard by the arm

as tears streamed down your face.

"You are not a person. You are a place that people get stuck in.
You are a pain that you cannot erase and a joy no one could ever fucking replace..."

retrospect

pretty little liar

tangled up in torture,

always awake and

always vicious,

won’t let you

forget a thing.

Day 717

I listen as you speak.
and every syllable breaks

as you try to describe

how much you loathe

your surroundings.

but I pay no attention,
because the alcohol 

is making you brain dead

and you are driven by when

you’re going to wet your mouth next.

Dare to dream of something more... 

impassive

Love me or hate me.

If you love me,

I will always be in your heart.

If you hate me,

I will always be in your mind.

complacent

Sometimes,
I just find myself

laying in my bed

staring at the dust

as they dance through the air

and the sun light,

wondering at its beauty,

falling in love with nothingness...

absorbed

She wrapped the fools in diamonds,

and the poor in fine silk.

Though none could bear to witness,

she moved all by what she’d built.